Unconditional Love - These words found their way into my brain this morning and refused to leave. So, in a cold, analytical, scientific way – I began thinking about this concept.
Why does something like unconditional love exist in the cosmos? What if it didn't exist?
Thinking this through, lets step into a world where a person is indeed afflicted with the debilitating condition of unconditional love. It could only ever go two ways. Either it will be a curse leading her to a special kind of madness or it would be a fortress from all the storms of the world or so she will claim. Nevertheless, I am skeptical of this whole starry eyed, over glorified, over simplified view of love.
That you love someone regardless of what they do or who they become - is a disturbing notion, to say the very least. It seems to be an excruciating, blatant and a brazen surrender of one's individuality. The psychological scars from a broken heart can run deep. Many have gone over the edge and killed themselves over the pain and hurt caused by the one they loved. There are so many scenarios where it would be a nightmare to be attached to someone in such a crude, barbaric fashion. Many people change frighteningly fast in this day and age, and many others are highly skilled in the art of deception. You might have started with someone who seemed so right only to find that he's now someone not so right. What would you do then? Countless women endure domestic abuse under the illusion of love. Countless naive girls forsake their identity, ambitions, personality and intelligence as they begin to live for that "special someone". You compromise, you sacrifice and you sanctify this bond with a madman's zeal.
My biggest problem is that you hold on when you should have let go long ago. A year, two years, a decade, a lifetime - how long do you keep your eyes shut, your heart shattered and your mind closed? In a way, you refuse to move forward and to see the big picture. You miss out on your youth, exciting opportunities, new challenges, new friendships and relationships and new beginnings. You look for ways to make the other person happy at your own expense and you forgive every excruciating mistake. You wait and you give and you give and you wait.
If you do fall for someone who doesn't feel the same way about you and you keep persisting because your heart cant look away, your mind will process the rejection over and over again. It will do strange things and create a pattern of inadequacy, frustration and will paralyze you into indecision. It will leave you unfulfilled, negative and your confidence will plummet down an abyss. So, stop the madness before the neural networks in your brain reconfigure to turn your life into a misery filled black hole.
In a universe so vast and strange, once should be enough to know if someone's worth the trouble. And yet, people stay attached and doomed for ages under the deception of unconditional love. Its probably the only time when you willingly let someone treat you badly, expose your true self in the most vulnerable way and risk being crushed, when you let that person hurt you with a smile and a tear, and when you give up on your sanity. Maybe, human brains are wired for love and companionship, and a overarching fear of loneliness. If that is true, what could be the scientific reason for this feature?
The law of evolution is the law of survival - strength and intelligence is what matters; the weak and the stupefied will fade into oblivion. So, where does unconditional love fit in the law of evolution? That's where babies come in. The unconditional love of a parent for their child is probably what is preserving the existence of human race. Imagine a scenario where love did not exist. There would be no families, abandoned children raging and dying, the very fabric of society as we know would not exist. Chaos would ensue. And probably the human race would not accomplish as much as it has and the race might not have survived as long.
In conclusion, I don't think unconditional love is always a good thing. And certainly, the lofty definitions for this term are pure drivel. Be open to the probability that unconditional love could destroy you, could make you go insane and it might not be good for you.
Over and out.