Today, I turned 31. I thought I should talk about things I learned the hard way in the past decade.
Here we go -
Easy and hard - Doing what's easy might feel good but it makes you dumb. Doing what's hard might feel difficult but it will make you smart. Feelings can be deceptive. Learn to not rely on them too much and especially shut them off while trying to develop your personality and individuality.
Fitting In and First Impressions - Don't try to fit in where you don't belong. Give everything to fit in where you do belong. Usually, our inner voice, when it speaks for the first time is bang on about a person or an interaction. Its only when we rationalize and second guess ourselves that we shun our inner voice. Humans can get used to any and everything. So, be careful and mindful of the habits you are forming. The experiences you attract in life and the person you become is largely influenced by the people in your life. So, choose your company wisely.
Money, security and companionship - What about passion, adventure and independence? Great thinkers and achievers did not chase after money, or did not cling to their companion; they achieved their greatness while pursuing their calling in a fierce, bold and independent manner.
Life is a complex phenomena that is part poetry, part psychology, part biology, part chaos theory, part law of probability, part chemistry, part physics, part mathematics, part mysticism, part astronomy. One or more of these variables are at play at any given point of time. Science has not yet established a model that can accept all of these inputs and predict or derive at an output, the math needed for such a system is too complex and our most powerful computers do not have the processing power to handle so many variables for each instant of time. So, it's fair to say that any idea of control is strictly delusional. Good things will happen, and bad things will happen. Absurd, ironic, and strange things will also happen. What works once is not guaranteed to work again. Any and every experience of life comes with an expiry date, and the more you try to define life, the more it will challenge and defy you. It's probably safe to say that any and everything that could happen might happen, and you are fighting a lost battle if you are trying to control someone.
Change - Life and people are constantly evolving. Everything in life is fleeting - even the things and concepts that seem permanent.
Expectations and lies - Everyone has expectations, and if they are not fulfilled, there are consequences to deal with. People lie and can be willfully deceptive.
Signs - Sometimes, life does give us signs, and if we do not heed or interpret them in the right manner, we are likely to go around in meaningless circles causing ourselves pain and disillusionment.
Seek - Among all the chaos and the noise, if you seek something long enough and hard enough and wait patiently, it might be yours for the taking. It's also quite possible that you no longer desire the object once life grants it to you because you have moved on.
Visualize - Seeing something with your mind's eye can alter reality. This is true of good and bad things.
Struggle - Growth, evolution and satisfaction cannot happen in the absence of struggle, adversity, fear and pain.
Imagine and daydream - Never lose your sense of wonder, your inner child, and your curiosity.
Apathy - You will never feel like doing the things you need to do to become the person you must become to fulfill your calling and to achieve your dreams. Discipline, focus, right habits and right actions do not come easily to any of us, it's a long journey and most of us feel overwhelmed to start. We need to surpass the prison of our feelings and doubts, and just embark.
Discomfort and Luck - Sometimes you get lucky, and things work out. Sometimes, the only way to make things happen is to step into the unknown, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, sacrifice and keep going.
Comparison - Since we are brought up in a competitive environment, we are conditioned and accustomed to comparing ourselves to others and comparing ourself to our past version. Leave others alone and just do the best you can for your own life because you can't win the game of comparison. There will be people worse off than you and people better off than you.
Finally, we get one life. Live it to the fullest and make it count, and truly what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.