There are many misconceptions floating out there in the world. Lets talk about one of them.
This is a stigmatized and a misunderstood word. Often, people who commit suicide are condemned as cowards, selfish and saps under the notion that life is a gift from god and suicide is a sin. Its quite unfair, and a little too judgmental to cook theories and opinions about someone so tormented by their life that they chose to die.
What happens when you fall ill? Imagine running a very high fever, or being diagnosed with dengue fever or malaria or jaundice or a terminal disease. How does your body and mind feel? Like a curse or a blessing? Do you want to jump with joy or just close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep. The body and the mind - once intruded - by an illness of any kind - will begin to shut down if not treated to the right medications. That's how we are built - built to be vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses nature has crafted - be it physical or psychological. There are diseases of the body. And, there are diseases of the mind.
So, what happens when there is a lapse in the functioning of the body? Depending on the severity, you are tired or bedridden or nauseous or not hungry or you simply want to sleep. Even the mere act of blinking your eyes and shifting your body weight will drain you out if you are too ill. Your energy and willpower is zapped. You cannot think or function anymore. You simply want to close your eyes and rest. No family member or friend can provide you the comfort and warmth that deep sleep can. Your body and mind is so exhausted and blank that words and a touch cannot keep you awake or animated. This isn't a choice or a willful sabotage. If you fall ill, you endure and suffer - its simple.
Its the same with the mind. If the mind builds up a disease like depression, or a self-perceived trauma or unbearable emotional stress - your body and mind will start quitting on you and the only thing you would look forward to is sleeping. Only this time - sleeping is a metaphor and euphemism for the ultimate sleep - death. If the illness of the body can zap the mind, the illness of the mind will zap the body too. Why is it so hard for some people to understand that psychosomatic disorders and depression are the result of a malfunctioning or tormented mind - just as diarrhea or the flu are the consequences of a lapse in the body's functioning.
Saying things like - the deceased was so selfish that they left their family behind to agonize, question and suffer - is a cheap shot at someone who cannot explain anything anymore and who has suffered something so morbid that your mind can't even begin to comprehend it. Yes, it is unbearably heartbreaking for the family, and their life is crushed in a way that it will never again be whole. But it's not fair to blame and get mad at the person committing suicide. His or her intention wasn't to hurt anyone but to free himself from his pain. If you haven't lived through a serious depression where you couldn't actually get out of a bed and think, or where your brain was consumed by angst and anxiety or chewed by bipolar or dementia - then give it a rest for you will never understand the true horrors of a mental lapse.
Everyone is different in the sense that they are products of their biology, psychology and environment. Lets not be under the illusion that we choose our traits and behavior. What you have been through is different from what someone else has been through. Everyone gets scarred and broken - at least once in their life - maybe. But just because you survived and triumphed and someone else succumbed and gave in doesn't mean that you are stronger and smarter than the other person. Your psychological response is a consequence of your genes and experiences. So, truth be told, if you are wondering why someone else killed themselves over something that is not that serious - please understand you are comparing apples and oranges - you are an apple and he or she is an orange. You might be all human beings but everyone has their own special kind of crap to deal with. And it might not be in our control to determine if we will surpass the hellholes of our life or give into them.
Let's quit being a judge that condemns people for suicide and let's start being a humanitarian and a psychologist trying to understand the murky world of mental afflictions.