What does happiness look like?
I have no clue but I had a minuscule peek. A jarring but beautiful glimpse of that elusive thing called happiness. Maybe, its the forte of the evolved; the exclusive preserve of some very transcendental beings; something attained by the elite cult of monks and saints. Who knows - all I know is that being happy is one of the hardest things to do. Especially for some of us.
Why is it so hard, you ask? Well, the brain is the mastermind. It does amazing things. It keeps us alive and somewhat sane. But, as you all know - quite well - reality isn't exactly a wonderland of the most wondrous things, so say hello to the many afflictions borne by our minds.
If you ask me, there are all kinds of brains - pioneers exploring the frontiers of insanity, everyday Joe on a comfortable cruise control, a square peg in a round hole and a square peg in a square hole. What kind of brain do you have? Is it a blooming field of all kinds of neuroses, or a relatively calm ocean in tune with the shore of reality?
Have you ever had to deal with a brain that romanticizes the concept of being happy but runs away from it as if its some kind of poison ivy - detrimental to its health? Do you ever get the feeling that your brain treats happiness as a deadly virus that will destroy the rich network of psychoses and neuroses it has so diligently dedicated itself to. Like it has been engaged in this artistic tour de force of altering the landscape of your reality and constructing a caricature of your sanity. No? Never felt like you had a brain going a shade insane? No? Lucky you.
Regardless, as one marked person riding the crest of a muddled clarity to whosoever I might be reaching out to, happiness is like being a child. Breaking through the offense of drudgery and the defenses of a neurotic mind, there comes a pure state where you jump and scream, where you just can't sit still or shut up. So, you keep hollering incessantly an endless trail of "wohooos" and you move your limbs and your body in a hypnotic dance of a skilled goofball.
On a more philosophical level, it means being present in the present, embracing reality with all its dangers and imperfections with a child like glee & being on the path that calls out to you. Feeling pristine, energized, pure, light. In fact, you feel so incredible that taking risks and moving out of your comfort zone is no big deal. Your mind and body are oblivious to the self-inflicted circle of doom and suffering that rules your everyday life. Physical discomfort, stepping into the unknown - bring it on - its no longer a thing to fear but a grand, larger than life adventure. Your whole mindset changes; you see the world with different eyes and a radically different mind.
Sometime ago, I was in Switzerland - the beautiful country with perfect mountains, a vibrant, colorful flora, quaint, artistic homes, wonderful and friendly people, and cows with a gigantic bell nestling their neck - the land that has so much to offer that you would be hard pressed to not be awed. My favorite part though was the snow. The moment I was exposed to a snow riddled vista, I was a whole new person. From a grumpy hag to a smart, chic kid. I was smiling, jumping, screaming, sliding my butt along a trail of snow, flinging snow at my brother - and finding it one of the most satisfying and soulful experiences of life. And, then there was snow-tubing where you place your butt in the hollow of a tire and sit tight while it slides past at a somewhat comfortable but mostly uncomfortable speed. It made the balls of my eyes feel like they were going to pop out of fear, and I seriously thought I was going to be crushed by an avalanche or I would go flying into a crevasse or a valley. My paws began to sting and burn to the point that I had to rush indoors with tears. Nevertheless, if I had time, I would have ventured out and signed up again for the hair-raising snow-tubing and the painful, biting kiss of the snow cutting through my hand.
Snow makes me happy because it brings out the child in me - the one that otherwise turns into a neurotic, skeptical being. What does your happiness look like? Tell me.