There are some of us who feel at odds with the world and the way of life that has come to be synonymous with human existence. As hard as we try, we can't fit in and we are forever looking at the sky and the stars and the books for answers. We can't help but think that there's more to life than treading the road that's been paved for us. Our eyes look beyond what lies in front of us, our hearts search for silence in a world that can't stop creating noise, and our soul urges us to walk away from the maddening throes of a world where pretensions and delusions loom large. It just doesn't feel right, why does it have to be this way, this doesn't make sense - the anthem of a twitching, grimacing core that's condemned to live a farce in a world that won't let us be ourselves.
Its not that we want to be the voice of discord and dissent. It wasn't even a choice to begin with. And it's not that we didn't try to get in and see the world with their eyes. We did try our best but it went something like this. We board the train that everyone else jumps on. Once in, we see everyone glorifying the train journey - how premium the seats are, how wonderful the view inside the train is, how steady the pace is, how the temperature and pressure is perfectly regulated to create such a soothing and melodious atmosphere. They kept on insisting what a wonder this train ride is. Not once, did they look outside the window. If they had, they would have seen the stars, the milky way and galaxies calling out to them. They would have experienced the true wonder and true meaning of being out here. Knowing what's out there and knowing what's deep inside - that is what the train ride inspired in us.
As for validating what others claimed about the train ride - to us, it felt uncomfortably cold, the jarring noise was a serious threat to our sanity, the pace was ridiculously fast, the seats made us fidget and feel restless since everyone else was way too close and there were many beings who were standing, who ached to have our seats and were eyeing us in a pleading, accusing or hateful manner. For some reason, the inhabitants of the train were hell bent on making us see things their way. Isn't this the most wonderful and amazing ride ever? Don't you just love being here? Look at the color of the train, isn't it absolutely gorgeous, it complements my eyes perfectly. We shift uncomfortably, swallow hard, smile awkwardly and utter - It's okay, things could have been better.
They look at you with a scowl and think you are weird and dumb. So, we keep to ourselves to avoid confrontation and animosity. Our silence spooks them more than our words. Why are you so quiet? What's wrong with you? Stop being so strange and queer. You are so going to fail with that attitude. You need to start getting along and gelling with others, its for your own good. Some say it out loud with eyes burning with contempt and a smirk, others say nothing but look at us with a mix of pity and an air of superiority. We ignore as best we can and we patiently seek kindred spirits who would contemplate, question and embark on a search for the meaning of all this.
There is a powerful being that runs this train, you must pray to him for better seats and that you never have to stand like those wretched beings out there, they say. We blink, we think, we silently make a wish to find a better place than this eerie and stifling train. How about letting them sit for a while? We voice our thought and are laughed at. We get up and go looking for an emergency exit. We get out and board another train.
We do not know what makes someone different anymore than we know why someone fits in so perfectly well or why someone's an introvert and someone's an extrovert. The only answer we have as of now is that our genes, our experiences and our ability to be influenced make us who we are. Some of us fight our evolution, some of us give in to it and some of us never hear the call of evolution. Regardless of who turns out how, why can't we practice - live and let live?