12 Half Marathons & 1 Full Marathon later, the quest goes on.
"What you seek is seeking you." - Rumi
"What you seek is seeking you." - Rumi
The journey of living is only accomplished by a sense of purpose that can no longer be denied.
Here's what I mean by that:
This is how I determine if I am truly living or sleepwalking through my life: If I am not striving to live a life of meaning; if I am not pursuing that which calls out to me; if I am not meditating; if I am not honoring the truth of my core - I know I am not living but merely breathing and embodying a farce.
Running, for me, is a way to experience life with purity and integrity. It's one of the few things that called out to me and that calms my otherwise hypercritical, and frenzied mind. It gives meaning to my life and helps me become a better individual.
Its when I run that I find that I am truly living and being my true self. With every run, I am moving further along on the journey of living.
Its been my experience that when I am truly psyched about something, I can push beyond the perceived difficulties, and the challenge becomes an adventure and a roller-coaster. Strength, courage and perseverance can be called upon by a sense of purpose, a childhood dream, a passion, and a labor of love, and not by external expectations. Its the thing that you do for yourself by yourself that helps you fulfill your destiny. At least, that's my experience and philosophy.
As a testimony to how great it has been to be a runner, and how it has made me a more complete person, here is a brief narrative
I am an adventurer at heart, but with a mind that is the opposite of daredevil. For many years now, for every single second of my life, I have been aching to hit the road, climb a mountain, a cliff, hike through the canyons, a valley, a forest, be under the stars, but I am too afraid of venturing out on my own, and since I have this overwhelming, natural propensity to be shy around people, and to stay away from groups and social events, I am kind of cornered into a classic cul-de-sac. So, I try to read adventure books, and get a visceral sense and a vicarious experience of what it means, and how it feels to be out there, and I wistfully hope and long for the growth that accompanies these excursions into the unknown.
But then I wanted to run marathons and half-marathons, childhood dreams are hard to forget even by a mind as warped in fear as the one I seem to have.
After completing my first half marathon, I was left with an IT band injury and a sensitive ankle that ached and cracked. I spent a year and half moping around, and failing to run by myself.
It was time for action. So, I signed up to train with an elite running group called HoustonFit, an unnerving proposition.
What if I am the slowest and I get left behind? What if I am not cool enough to be in this group? What if my injury resurfaces? What if I don't get along and fit in? I was anxious and a little scared, but a personal crisis compelled me to take a leap of faith and show up.
And, precisely because of this personal crisis, I spent quite a few sleepless nights, laying awake in bed, and feeling morose. But somehow, I made it to my morning runs, and got the job done.
I traveled to Oklahoma, Chicago, Rockford, Alabama, and Roswell in Georgia by myself for various half-marathons and a marathon, something I had never done before. All the planning, the traveling was a brand new adventure, one I never would have believed I was capable of and never would have conceived and pursued if it weren't for running.
Being shy and an introvert, I tend to keep away from social events and large groups of people, but that never deters me from being around thousands of people in marathons. Somehow, I can surpass the tuning out and weirdness of being around people. This, to me, is a personal victory again.
In a nutshell, running has shown me a new way of life, a new world where I can travel, and be around tons of people by myself, run in groups, and have adventures.
The story so far
I was born athletic and running called out to me as a young kid. So, being a runner, is my way of staying true to who I am and bringing meaning, love, joy, adventure and peace into my life.